Secret Weapon Miniatures Hobby Gaming Haiku Contest

Ok guys, our first giveaway this past week had over a hundred replies. The second one got over 200 (the winner there has been notified!). The counts for those are just awesome. Thanks to everyone that has replied to those so far. We’ve got another couple Forge World minis to give away, but those will wait for a later time.

But for now, here’s the third giveaway:

Secret Weapon Miniatures, as you know, has products for all facets of the hobby gamer. They’ve basically got it all and have given us a $50 voucher for their store. Though this isn’t like the previous giveaways where you just need to comment to get in on the action. misterjustin has a much more… poetic way for you to enter.

To get yourself into this contest, you need to write a Haiku (a 3-line poem with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second and 5 syllables in the third, for those that don’t know) about the Hobby Gaming world. It can be about playing the games, painting and assembling minis or terrain or anything in-between.

You can enter as many as times as you’d like, since we’ll be doing a judging for the winner. misterjustin, Kevin and I will read over your responses and decide which is the winner. Keep them clean, though. No swearing, foul language or horrific immagery, as usual for the comments.

I’m… slightly worried about the replies… We’ll see how this goes.

We’ll leave this open until Wednesday morning at 9am Eastern. We’ll do the judging afterward and let you know the results.

  • Barret

    I suck at this but I gotta try,

    Games are a escape,
    To escape is to be free,
    Freedom is living.

  • TomasT

    Many dice are rolled
    My minis are put away
    Vengance shall be mine

  • A nice set of scaled
    kitchen furniture I need.

  • blkdymnd

    No more can I spend
    My wife is getting angry
    What’s this Kickstarter?!?

    • amoryburgess

      My wife appreciates this one…For the Kickstarter!

      • Soulfinger

        My wife hates this trial,
        As I now speak in haiku

  • evil_bryan

    Buying new bases
    There are so many to choose
    Thanks Secret Weapon!

  • Barret

    Eldar are coming
    They will rule the universe
    Ignorant Mon’kei

  • DramaScape

    DramaScape is all about Maps
    Their form in style brings something new
    Buy one if you Dare

    • DramaScape

      Damm my brain is tired I saw sylables and read words

      DramaScape Maping
      The things that you need for fun
      Buy one if you Dare

  • Shroudmaster

    I game because I live
    Each passing day is a chance for victory
    I am my only enemy

  • nibletz

    Need bases, Need Pigment, Need 50$

  • fetalblooddemon

    Beware the wolves wrath.
    For Russ they will fight and die.
    For The Allfather

  • 4tonmantis

    My paint pots are all dried
    The models are on the shelf
    But I shall return!

    • 4tonmantis

      Arg, I can’t count, should be

      My paint is all dried
      The models are on the shelf
      But I shall return!

  • bnblair

    Fifty Dollars won’t
    Win the Golden Demon but
    I need the practice

  • tronzor

    The dice has six sides
    I only care about one
    God let it be six…

  • Schmapdi

    I know Mr. J
    From the Relicnews forums
    he was super nice

    (A long long time ago, when I was really just getting into mini-painting Mr. J gave me a lot of great help – so I always try to sing his praises when I see him mentioned anywhere).

    (also, it always sound like I’m talking about the Joker when I say Mr. J)

  • CrazyFish

    What can I do to
    make my miniatures pop?
    Shhhh! Secret Weapon!

  • Barret

    I am addicted
    Can’t get enough plastic crack
    Somebody help me

    • amoryburgess

      I feel you bro!

  • Bush Craft

    Fine lines, a perfect wash.
    What is this, that loves the brush?
    Oh crap… it’s my thumb.

    • Bush Craft

      Damn my extra syllable, and damn these uneditable comments!

      • Just reply with your updated version. It’s all good.

  • redfrosteddice

    Prime, base coat, ink wash
    One by one, they get painted
    Hundreds more to go!

  • redfrosteddice

    Take all my money!
    Please, Secret Weapon Minis,
    I don’t need to eat.

  • redfrosteddice

    Battlefield terrain
    More foam core than have space for
    Naturally, more.

  • redfrosteddice

    Evil scatter dice
    Deliver more death to me
    Than the enemy

  • Mahrdol

    lets do it!

  • Roebeast45

    Try to attach part.
    Cyanoacrylate glue,
    sticks well to fingers.

  • redfrosteddice

    Who’s the best shooter?
    Roll to wound, and we shall see
    C’mon sixes, please!

  • amoryburgess

    Forever playing soldier
    Backyard tabletop

  • Shades

    Little toy soldiers…
    Welcome, you mid-life crisis.
    Cheaper than a Porsche.

  • virtualonmars

    My oh my! What’s this?
    More free stuff giveaway for me?
    Thank you very much!

  • Soulfinger

    Ballistic skill five,
    I even get a reroll,
    Yet, I miss again!

  • Soulfinger

    Here’s the cold pizza,
    warm generic Mountain Dew
    Time to roll some dice

  • Soulfinger

    Card game booster or
    a stick of deodorant?
    You made the wrong choice.

  • kavinay

    An awful painter

    but thanks to resin bases

    my figs look decent!

  • MadCowCrazy

    Awesome paintjob on my mini
    still something lacking
    some great bases by secretweapon

    It sucks to be poor
    but there’s hope
    if only misterjustin chooses mine

  • Barret

    I buy and collect,
    I can never paint them all,
    Damn you Games Workshop!

    • mac

      could have written myself
      sigh πŸ˜‰

  • mac

    the gamer in me
    a beast of conquest and paint
    hidden in a suit

  • Laughing Penguin

    The clatter of dice
    Possibilities unfold
    Crap… critical miss

  • Quirkworthy

    Are you sufficiently zen to read this? Well, if you’re sitting comfortably on your tatami mat, with your green tea to hand in its raku bowl, and the blossom falling gently on the moss garden outside, then I’ll begin.

    Colour going dry
    Cannot re-blend luck and skill
    Wet palette saves day


    Paint, pigment, powder
    Alchemist blend of magic
    Petite masterpiece


    Lonely years of paint
    Completed finery wins
    The proud father smiles

  • dhennessy.matassa

    The edge of my seat,
    I sit as I watch my roll,
    Phhh, I’m still alive.

  • Twenty Eight mm
    Often becomes thirty five
    A cosmic mystery

  • Zweischneid

    Painting in Winter
    Must be ready for the game
    Splash of paint spilling

  • laserdreamworks

    Dice mischievous
    Your ones are too much to bear
    Head hanging forlorn

  • mudster

    To win at the game,
    Need anything but a one,
    Dice, I curse at ye

  • Harq Obispal

    So much blank canvas
    Many little plastic men
    Not done. Unfinished.

  • Soulfinger

    Strange dollhouse hobby,
    buying small skulls in volume
    just for landscaping.

  • Soulfinger

    Swearing, foul language
    and horrific imagery —
    tabletop gaming!

  • SyrSyko

    I’m a WAAC player
    Winning is my only goal
    Enter flamer spam


    Played a game today
    Books, cans and sheets for terrain
    Secret Weapon, help?


    Hollow base blanks good
    But I really can’t wait for
    Flexible sand bags


    Mister Justin great
    Paints tanks and cars and airplanes
    Where is Angry Sheep?

  • leigen_zero

    too many small parts
    plastic body metal guns
    glued face to table…

  • Cybeline

    one question burning:
    will secret weapon accept
    direct deposit?

  • bladestalker

    Battle going bad
    Assault vehicle deployed
    Zombie horde routed

  • bladestalker

    Golden Demon nears
    My conversion needs more skulls
    Secret weapon win

  • Mananarepublic

    Sign me up! Secret weapon does great stuff!

    • Soulfinger

      Format properly:
      Secret weapon does great stuff!
      Sign me up! Or not.

      You see? 5, 7, 5
      is essential to haiku,
      but you don’t read rules.

  • fuzzyguy

    Way too cold outside,
    Can of primer sits unused.
    Army plans postponed.

    • fuzzyguy


      Way too cold outside,
      Can of primer sits unused.
      Painty night postponed.

  • fuzzyguy

    Mold lines agitate.
    Hobby knife edge does cut straight
    Stitches upon hand.

  • fuzzyguy

    Into squishy flesh,
    Spikey bits fit all too well,
    Curse these chaos kits.

  • fuzzyguy

    TMP Contest
    Provides Creativity
    Who needs painting time?

  • fuzzyguy

    In shrink wrap game sits,
    FLGS I visit.
    Pile grows higher still.

  • fuzzyguy

    Pizza, beer, and dice
    Why venture outside in cold
    Let the good times roll

  • fuzzyguy

    Board Game Night Tonight,
    Arkham Horror is a blast.
    Need bigger table.

  • fuzzyguy

    Orkses are da best.
    No, space machines are better.
    Rulebook, who needs it.

    Past job coworker,
    Inspired haiku above this.
    From ole hobby shop.

  • fuzzyguy

    Upon my tongue’s tip,
    A septa-syllabic word,
    For botching my roll.

  • chopa

    A Mountain of Dice
    My Grey Plastic Horde of Orks
    No Sixes in Sight

    Slippery Fingers
    Tumbling from the table
    A new project found

  • cybogoblin

    To busy to paint
    Ranks of plastic and metal
    Armies sit unloved

    • cybogoblin

      *Too busy to paint

  • daynewma

    Miniscule monsters
    Pint-sized hills and pocket trees
    An epic battle

  • Hobbit promises
    Workshop does not deliver
    Money stays in bank


    Haiku writers strive
    Words do not come easily
    Secret Weapon wins

  • Trent

    Hushed brush strokes fall
    Dice meander through models
    The world fades away

  • Airbrushes are fun
    They spray for expert control
    Oh darn it is jammed

  • Henrix

    It is mocking me
    the growing mountain of lead
    One day I’ll paint all

    Unpainted they wait
    Change of game, other figures
    At least I won’t die

    There at the table
    brushes and paint forlorn waits
    internet distracts

    Terrain is ready
    miniatures on table
    My dice hate me

    Gravel path and shrine
    a graveyard with gorintΓ΄
    lead soldiers battle

    • Henrix

      In wintry darkness
      a master of haiku writes
      Secret weapon won

  • Barret

    Booze or more minis?
    Choice has already been made,
    Please let the oil last.

    • Barret

      or kinda changed either or I guess

      Beer or more Minis
      The time for choosing is past
      Please let the oil last.

  • Eric Ironthorne

    Gamers together
    Create new worlds with their minds
    And their little men.

  • Nightbee

    Grey primer well worn
    Lead alloy winks from within
    The bases are new

    Nah, towers are lame
    Don’t call me a cheater, bro
    Cocked dice forever

    Just three players show
    Two have to leave by midnight
    They curse the real world

  • Ncorby

    Assembling models
    Fingers are stuck together
    I hate superglue

  • 6tod6

    The unpainted mock
    I must cease this addiction
    But Six Six RAV calls

  • Eric Ironthorne

    Fearless soldiers of
    Plastic, resin, and metal
    Mass for games and war.

  • Dez

    Many a neckbeard
    Funk funk funk in table town
    Feh soap is for girls

  • Dez

    Doritos and pop
    Cool rules fools drool on the stool
    Does a body good

  • Dez

    Who wants a haiku?
    Mister Justin gives free stuff
    Haiku a plenty

  • Dez

    A haiku for you
    Seven or nine syllables?
    Stupid argument

  • Dez

    Ghost pepper plant
    Gimme some loving just once
    Maybe I’ll water

  • Dez

    Haiku’s are very fun
    When one should be doing work
    During his work time

  • Dez

    It’s 3AM again
    Time to brew more bold coffee
    Late for the deadline

  • Soulfinger

    I mocked the new guy
    Who rode with us to Games Day,
    which forged our friendship.

  • Soulfinger

    Pips count one to six
    Random odds, percentile-based
    One: Sixteen-point-six

  • Soulfinger

    “Should I paint my room
    bubonic brown or skull white?”
    the Chaos Lord mused.

  • Soulfinger

    Never shall I drink
    Realistic Water or
    eat paint chips again.

  • Soulfinger

    The new carpenter
    Built our house in 1:1 scale
    How boring is that!?

  • Bavius

    My hobby is sad,
    The models are just so bad,
    Fifty dollars, please!

  • Bavius

    Weathering pigments,
    Head swaps, etched brass, oh Secret
    Weapon, love your stuff!

  • cybogoblin

    Hot dice rolling high
    Enemies fall before me
    Total gamer bliss

  • Ballentyne

    In before the bell…. πŸ™‚

    The wind blows,
    Scattered debris falls
    From my base.

  • Ballentyne

    Ancient sands
    Plastic feet walk
    To battle…

  • Cat out of the bag
    Cupboard full of mini men
    “I’m a… collector”

    Everyone knows
    go’head and play with your dolls
    and call it hobby

    Your secret is out
    “Dolls and accessories rock”
    It IS a hobby